Leading a church through change is hard. Even when it’s necessary.
In over forty years of pastoral ministry, I’ve learned an important principle that has helped keep everyone, including me, open to necessary changes without feeling overwhelmed by them.
I try to imagine that there’s a bungee cord or rubber band connecting us.
If I’m not asking for enough change, the band stays limp and there’s nothing to pull people. This produces passivity and ineffectiveness.
But if I get out too far ahead of them, it can snap. This produces directionless churches and lonely, frustrated leaders.
The key is tension. Leaders need to keep just the right amount to pull people forward, without allowing the cord between them to break. Staying in the zone between too little and too much tension is one of the most challenging tasks a leader faces.
Especially over a long period of time.
Don’t Create Tension, But Learn to Leverage It Well
In my work with small church pastors, I’ve found that many of our complaints about a congregation not being open to necessary changes can often be traced back to either having too much or too little tension. Or bouncing wildly between the two.
As I’ve written before, people can handle change. What they can’t handle is surprise. And there’s nothing more surprising or discouraging than when a leader who hasn’t been challenging people suddenly demands too much change. This causes so much tension that the connection between leader and followers snaps. Sometimes permanently.
Leaders who guide people through big events, crises, and changes have learned to leverage tension well. They’ve strengthened that cord and increased the congregation’s tolerance for tension, allowing for bigger change.

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How to Strengthen the Cord
Leaders don’t need to create tension. There’s plenty in the world already. But we can leverage the existing tension to our, and the church’s advantage if we follow a few simple principles. And avoid some common mistakes.
First, some essential principles:
- Lead with integrity. Every other leadership strength is an extension of this – and every weakness denies it.
- Stay consistent over a long period of time.
- Be a listener, so you know what they can handle.
- Keep regular tension, but allow for breaks from the tension (this is how muscles build strength, too).
- Admit your mistakes.
- Thank people – a LOT.
- Lead by example.
- Show them a better future.
- Give people time to understand the need for change – just like God gave you.
What Will Weaken the Cord
Now, some common mistakes that will kill any hope for change and health.
- Don’t change too quickly after things have been the same for a long time.
- Never betray people’s trust.
- Don’t ignore their feelings.
- Don’t ask for too much, too soon.
- Don’t complain when they can’t keep up.
- Never demand change without explaining why.
- Resist changing direction suddenly and without warning.
- Stop complaining about the congregation without leading them to a better alternative.
- Avoid gaining a reputation for starting big, but finishing weak or not at all.
- Don’t ask them to change for you if you refuse to change for them.

What Does the Right Amount of Tension Look Like?
The right amount of tension varies from church to church and from situation to situation.
Here’s one example that you can draw on.
If you’re in a traditional church and you want to introduce newer worship songs, don’t let months go by without introducing any new songs (not enough tension), and don’t do a whole set of new songs on one Sunday (too much tension).
Instead try this:
- Play a mix of new songs as background music before and after the service for a few weeks
- Introduce one of those songs in worship (It will feel familiar since they’ve heard it for a few weeks)
- Sing it for two out of three Sundays
- Add another new song from the background music mix two or three weeks later
- Repeat for one year and you’ll have up to 20 new songs that won’t feel strange to people
That’s just the right amount of tension.
No, I’m not going to call it the Goldilocks method of leading. I’m sticking with bungee cord.
(Photo by Martin Thomas | Flickr)
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Karl Vaters produces resources for Helping Small Churches Thrive at KarlVaters.com.
He's the author of five books on church leadership, including his newest, De-Sizing the Church: How Church Growth Became a Science, Then an Obsession, and What's Next. His other books include The Grasshopper Myth and Small Church Essentials.
Karl also hosts a bi-weekly podcast, The Church Lobby: Conversations on Faith & Ministry, featuring in-depth interviews about topics that concern pastors, especially those who minister in a small church context. He has served in small-church ministry for over 40 years, so he speaks and writes from decades of hands-on pastoral experience.
You can follow Karl on Facebook, Instagram, X, YouTube, and LinkedIn, or Contact Karl to inquire about speaking, writing, and consultation.


