I’ve been in the church all my life. Literally.
On the first Sunday I was alive, I was in a baby basket beside my mother as she played the piano in my parents’ tiny, store-front church.
In recent years I’ve worked with churches of virtually every denomination. So I’ve seen it all. Because of that experience I’m not impressed with the bells and whistles a lot of churches work so hard on.
When I come to your church I’m not looking for a Hollywood-level production. As I wrote in a recent post, that wears thin quickly.
Over the years, I’ve compiled a list of things I love to see when I visit a church. A lot of it is common knowledge, like clean bathrooms and proper signage. And some things are bonus, like a nice cup of coffee or a kickin’ worship team. So I won’t include those in this list.
What I am including falls under this general heading: The church needs to offer a genuine expression of worship and fellowship.
To be clear, this is my list. It’s not what everyone needs or likes. It’s not based on a focus group or demographic study of what spiritual seekers want. It’s just me. A long-time, mature Christian and church leader. But it comes from experience, not ignorance.
These aren’t requirements for a healthy church. Or a growing church. Or an innovative church. I don’t expect any church to have all of them. And I’m aware that most of the small churches I work with are struggling with some of them.
But I love it when I see them, and I know I’m not alone. I suspect that a lot of people – both seekers and saints – would give us a similar list if we knew how to ask them the right questions.
(In case you’re wondering, this isn’t just about the church meeting my selfish needs, as you’ll see by the points I’m making. I’ll address this important issue again in Point #9.)
1. I want to be greeted, but not overwhelmed
Someone should be at the door or the parking lot to say ‘hi’ and answer any questions I may have. I’m even okay with the much-maligned ‘shake someone’s hand before you’re seated’ routine.
But, outside of that, let me discover things at my own pace. Don’t get in my face. Let me know how to get more involved, but don’t push it.
2. I want an experience I can’t get at any other church
Churches should not be cookie-cutter copies of each other.
While all churches should share core theology and behaviors, something about my visit to your church should be different than other churches.
Like going to a local restaurant that’s not a national chain, I want to see your church’s unique combination of people, culture, history, and relationships come across in the way you worship, serve, and fellowship together.
3. I want to feel like something unexpected might happen
I like a church that feels prepared, but not overly programmed. We should give the Holy Spirit some elbow room.
That will look different from church to church. I’ve experienced it from the silent waiting time of a Mennonite church to the exuberant, anything goes openness of a pentecostal service.
When there are moments to pause and be open to the Holy Spirit, it reminds me that God is bigger than today’s order of service.
4. If something unusual happens, I want it explained
If the church is Pentecostal, tell my why you’re speaking in tongues.
Mennonite? Why are we pausing in silence?
Liturgical? Why am I kneeling and standing so much?
Long sermon? Is this the usual length?
And please, please, pleeease tell me if communion is open to newcomers. And if not, why not?
5. I want to be one of the oldest people in the room
I’m in my mid-sixties. When I’m not in the oldest 25 percent of the people in the room I get concerned for the future of the church. The one exception to this is if you’re doing seniors ministry intentionally and strategically, as I wrote about in Grandma Went to Woodstock.
When I am one of the oldest people in the room, I get encouraged and excited. Youth means life, and a future.
Sure, that means more noise and mess, fashion I would never wear, and sermon illustrations I may not understand. But that’s a small price to pay for the youth and vitality of the church.
6. I want to worship with people who don’t look like me
Among the most exciting, but far-too-rare church experiences is worshipping with people who don’t all look the same ethnically, socio-economically, politically and more.
I love seeing someone wearing a suit worshipping next to someone in shorts and flip-flops. An old, tattered Bible beside a cell phone Bible app. Seasoned saints greeting spiritual seekers with genuine warmth and friendliness. People from different races, ethnicities, national backgrounds, and traditions being represented on the platform, as greeters, teachers . . . everywhere.
7. I want the emphasis to be on Jesus
I can get self-help anywhere. And I can get people to say “you’re good enough, you’re smart enough, and doggone it, people like you” in a lot of places.
When I go to church I want it to be about Jesus, not me.
8. I want to hear how your church is blessing others
I don’t care about your new building program, your political stance, or your denominational problems. Not when I’ve come to worship.
I care how you’re honoring Jesus, feeding the hungry, housing the homeless, supporting missionaries, and reaching people with the gospel.
9. I want to leave challenged – and better than when I came in
I don’t just want the things that I want.
This generation has been oversold on everything. We can spot it when you’re playing to the crowd.
Honor Jesus. Love people. Speak hard truths (without being a jerk about it). Try new stuff.
Don’t just say what I want to hear. Say what I need to hear.
(Photo by Ville MJ Hyvönen | Flickr)
