There have been too many failed pastorates lately.
Of course, even one is too many. And, sadly, failure among religious leaders is nothing new.
When a pastor does fall, two of the key questions for the church, the pastor, and those in decision-making positions are:
- Can a fallen pastor be restored into ministry again?
- If so, how and when should it take place?
These are complex questions with many variables, but we must agree on at least one baseline principle:
Repentance must be central to the process of restoration. And repentance has to lead to more than doing the same thing in a different place.
(In some cases, there are legal repercussions to be addressed. I’m a pastor, not a legal expert, so those issues are beyond the scope of this short article which focuses on sinfulness and potential restoration, not illegal acts and their potential consequences.)
Repentance Requires More Than Relocation
This is a mistake that is made by denominations when they shuffle an offending pastor off to another church, only to repeat their sins with a new group of people. It also happens when a pastor or ministry leader fails, only to jumpstart an identical ministry in a new location with a new name.
The guilty party may say they’ve repented and have been restored. I hope they have and are. But where is the fruit of true repentance when they’re doing the same kind of ministry a few months later under a new name?
Repentance is more than relocation and rebranding.
The body of Christ needs to get better at this. Those who have been hurt by failed church leaders deserve better than this. Even the fallen, repentant, and restored pastor needs a better way forward than this.
There are at least seven principles that must be in place for true repentance and restoration to take hold.
1) Repentance Takes Time . . .
Forgiveness can happen in an instant. But repenting — truly turning one’s life around so they’re facing in a new direction — takes more than saying the right words, then taking a few months off.
There are no shortcuts, so the attempt to find them is a sign that repentance isn’t real.
Hurry is the enemy of genuine repentance.
2) . . . Restoration Takes Longer
As we’ll see below, some aspects of ministry may never be restored, depending on the offense and other factors. But even in the situations where restoration to a similar position is the right decision, it usually takes a lot longer than expected.
When there’s been a moral failure there are always issues beneath the surface that have bubbled up. Those issues must be identified, sins repented of, emotional damages uncovered and healed, toxic habits identified and redirected, and so much more.
It’s not about punishment when an offending pastor is removed from active ministry for a long time. It’s the bare minimum for true restoration to take place.
3) Responsibility Needs To Be Owned
The more someone deflects their responsibility, the less likely it is for restoration to ever take place.
The good news is, the sooner we take true responsibility for our actions (with God’s help and some serious accountability) the more quickly we can find our way to health and healing again.
4) Apologies Need To Be Repeated
Far too often I hear the offender in a given situation cry “how many times do I need to apologize for this?!” when someone who’s been damaged by their past behavior gets angry at them again.
The answer is always the same — at least one more time.
You can never apologize too much.
Certainly, some people will never forgive, and some hurts will never be mended. But when trust has been betrayed, especially by someone in a position of emotional and spiritual authority, repetition is often necessary for the repentance to truly be heard.
5. Lessons Learned Need To Be Evident
If the people who know you best (not your fans, but the people who will truly hold you lovingly accountable) aren’t seeing external evidence of repentance, there’s still a long way to go before restoration can even be considered.
This can be one of the frustrating sticking-points for the person seeking restoration. After all, you may feel like you’ve changed. But feeling changed and truly being changed are not the same thing. And, especially after a moral failing, you are not the right person to judge your fitness for ministry.
6. The New Ministry Needs To Be Different
If restoration is genuine, the new ministry will look different than the previous ministry. The more serious the offense, the more true this is.
For instance, if the egotism that blinded you to your moral failings was amplified by being in the pulpit or on a mass-media platform, it’s not wise to get back on that platform.
In De-sizing the Church, I put it this way, “Platforms that have been built on celebrity, that have enabled predators, that have abandoned core theology, or that have diverted our attention from the toxic cultures they’ve been hiding cannot be fixed. They must be destroyed.”
Which leads to . . .
7. You May Never Lead Again — But You Can Always Serve
It’s too easy to equate ministry with leadership. But not everyone who is called to ministry is called to leadership.
Ministry is servanthood. If you’re not allowed back in the pulpit, get busy stacking chairs and cleaning dishes. If this doesn’t feel like “real” ministry, you don’t understand ministry. And that lack of understanding likely contributed to the toxic behavior that led to your moral failing.
No one is ever disqualified from servanthood, and servanthood is the foundation of all true ministry.
A humble place of service may be the ministry opportunity your soul has been longing for all along.
(Photo by Alon | Flickr)
