Leaving a local congregation is harder than it may seem. If you’ve invested years (sometimes decades) there, it can almost feel like a divorce.

In this article, Josh Taylor, the author of  A Preach Well Church: How Churches Can Stop Burning Out Pastors, addresses the issue for church members who want to do the right thing, but aren’t sure how to.

—Karl Vaters

As a Christian, leaving a church can be complex and confusing.

While there is no specific scripture to directly instruct when it may be right to leave a local church, there are six valid biblical justifications that should cause prayerful consideration for an individual or family’s situation.

Six Biblical Justifications for Leaving a Local Church

1. The people are located too far away

If the church is too far away from where one lives and thus hinders fulfilling covenantal commitments with others in the church, then distance could be a factor.

Technology can help with communication, but it lacks the depth of personal interaction. Corporate worship needs physical gathering.

2. The people are diminishing doctrine

Jesus and his apostles warned against false teaching (2 John 1:8-9; Galatians 1:7-9; 1 John 4:1, 5-6). The Apostle Paul warned of “pointless, silly myths” (1 Timothy 4:7; 2 Timothy 4:3-4).

When a church disregards sound doctrine, diminishing the gospel and promoting self-help principles it leads us away from the truth of God’s Word. This hinders the spiritual growth of its members.

If you believe your church doesn’t teach the truth, you’re in a tough spot. You want to make a difference, but don’t want to be associated with a truthless (much less trust-twisting) church.

Choose prayerfully. Discuss your concerns with a pastor or trusted church leader. In Ephesians 5:11, Paul urges us to expose dark deeds. Jude 3 stresses the significance of defending the faith by questioning the unscriptural teachings of church leaders.

Respectful disagreement can exist on how to interpret some biblical texts. Those differences don’t necessarily imply a church has abandoned the gospel.

We should be open-minded toward different perspectives and strive towards unity in the body of Christ rather than division. Talk to your pastor if you have concerns about your church’s teachings. Listen to their perspective and be open to the possibility that your understanding of the Bible may be incomplete.

3. The people are spiritually abusive

Spiritual abuse happens someone uses religious or spiritual beliefs to manipulate people for personal gain (2 Peter 2:3).

It is disheartening to hear about Christians being harmed by abusive pastors or churches. Pastors should never demand unquestioning obedience. They must not lord their given authority over others but serve as examples of how faith can be lived out authentically and obediently according to God’s word (1 Peter 5:3).

To avoid spiritual abuse, start by talking to your pastor if you feel something isn’t right or if you have questions about the teachings of the Bible. Your pastor should be open-hearted and willing to answer any questions. If not, this could indicate that something isn’t right.

Corrupt leadership strategies and oppressive atmospheres create a toxic environment that should not be tolerated. Believers should not tolerate exploitation and manipulation (2 Corinthians 11:20).

Those facing spiritual abuse need to focus on removing themselves from such situations. This may involve seeking counsel from friends or family outside the church, consulting with mental health professionals, or joining support groups specifically designed to address spiritual abuse issues.

Though standing up against spiritual abuse may seem hard at first, doing so will help create an environment where people can grow spiritually without fear of being manipulated or taken advantage of by those in power over them. Confronting these issues must become part of our everyday lives so we can live out our faith without compromise or guilt.

4. The people are tolerating sin

Unrepentant sin should not be given a place in the body of Christ. Sin breeds more sin (1 Corinthians 5:6).

Healthy churches address sin head-on to prevent immoral behavior from spreading (1 Corinthians 5:1-2). If your church tolerates sin, speak up and demand action. If they refuse to address it, leave and find a Bible-following church (1 Corinthians 5:12-13).

5. The people are constantly fighting

Divisions in a church reveal the unregeneracy of the church’s membership, while unity is the mark of a Spirit-filled church (Galatians 5:19-21; Ephesians 4:3).

If there are constant fights and disagreements, the Spirit is not there, and it’s a church in name only. Flee from those people (Romans 16:17; Titus 3:10-11).

6. The Holy Spirit sends you out on mission

The Holy Spirit will guide believers on mission away from their local church. Still, this process will happen prayerfully and with unity among members and church leaders.

In Acts 13, the church was gathered for prayer and worship when the Holy Spirit spoke to them about Paul and Barnabas. The Holy Spirit may send you out of a church, but he will do so with prayer and unity with other believers and leaders.

Hurt by your church? Here’s what to do before you leave

Sometimes it may seem easier to leave a church rather than confront issues head-on. However, we must communicate our feelings openly and respectfully before leaving.

If another member of the church has hurt you, there are peacemaking principles to be followed. We’re reminded to be peacemakers, even in challenging circumstances (Matthew 5:9). And we are instructed to gently approach those who wrong us (Luke 17:1-4; Matthew 18:15; Galatians 6:1).

If initial attempts at peacemaking fail, bring other people in as witnesses or take it up with church leadership (Matthew 18:16). Never underestimate the importance of giving the process the time it needs (Romans 12:18).

Rarely is it right to leave without attempting peacemaking. Despite any differences, Jesus has provided us with a command to forgive that transcends any conflict or disagreement we may have.

Unhappy with your church? Do this first

If you feel unhappy at your current place of worship, prayerful discernment is necessary. Some get dissatisfied when they expect to receive without giving back. This selfish attitude leads to disappointment. To experience the true blessings of church membership, active involvement is essential.

Before deciding on leaving a particular fellowship, try this:

1. Join a small group

Engaging relationally in the church is vital for spiritual growth.

Connecting with other Christians supports and challenges you in your walk with God. Get involved in a small group or Sunday School class.

2. Serve in a ministry

To find happiness within a church, start serving others. Serving is integral to a Christian’s joy.

Use your gifts for the good of God’s family (1 Peter 4:10). Serve where needed, whether welcoming visitors or working with children. Serve with joy and humility and be blessed (Romans 12:10-11).

3. Talk with your pastors and deacons

If you have an issue with your church, it’s best to communicate directly with church leaders and pastors. This way they can assess the situation and work on finding a resolution. Everyone’s feelings and perspectives should be heard before any decisions are made.

Remember, change takes time, so patience should always be extended. Church leaders need space to address the situation adequately (Proverbs 19:11, Ephesians 4:2, and Hebrews 13:17). If they seem unwilling or uninterested in your viewpoint, it might be advisable to carefully consider whether you can forbear the situation or if it would be best to leave.

To Sum Things Up: To leave a church gracefully is to leave a church reluctantly

Leaving a church, especially one you have been attending for a while, is never easy.

Approach this decision thoughtfully and prayerfully. Ask yourself if you are doing this for God’s glory rather than focusing on the benefits you may gain from being part of another church.

It’s vital to remember to leave respectfully and communicate any issues with gentleness and respect. Leaving without communicating or abruptly is not Christ-like, causing hurt feelings and broken relationships. The Puritan minister John Flavel wrote, “Let nothing beneath a plain necessity divide you from communion one with another; hold it fast till you can hold it no longer without sin.”

Upon departure from your church, actively seek membership in another. Finding a new church home is crucial. Leaving the church puts your soul at risk. You need the spiritual guidance and support of a church. Don’t neglect your spiritual well-being.

We find solace in worshiping God with fellow believers. As Ignatius of Antioch wrote, “Labor together with one another, compete together, run together, suffer together, die together, rise up together, as God’s managers and assistants and servants.”

Adapted from When to Leave a Church: What the Bible Says, at PreachWell.com.

(Photo by min_malist | Flickr)