The average pastor takes on a greater burden of responsibility than Jesus asks us to. We feel the weight of expectations from everywhere. Everywhere but from Jesus himself, who promised his yoke would be easy, and his burden light (Matthew 11:28-30).
This is the second of four guest articles from pastor Kurt Lammi about the feelings of failure in pastoral ministry.
— Karl Vaters
Every small church pastor has been there.
We stand in front of the congregation on Sunday morning, and we see more empty seats than full seats. Sometimes it seems like there are more people leading worship than in the pews. Sometimes we look at the weekly offering numbers and wonder how the bills will get paid.
Sometimes we look at the age of the people in the congregation and wonder how much longer the congregation will survive.
Of course, we don’t like to fail. We would rather pastor a congregation that was doing well instead of one that is struggling. But what does “doing well” look like?
Success And Failure
In Failure, Part 1: When Jesus “Failed”, I wrote about how Jesus looked like a failure in the eyes of the world. He didn’t choose powerful people as disciples, he didn’t say that those who have money and status are blessed, and he didn’t conquer the Romans and restore the kingdom to Israel (Acts 1:6).
Instead, what he did looked like a failure. He called fishermen and tax collectors, he said those who are down and out are blessed, and he died.
We pastors tell people this story all the time – but sometimes it’s still hard for us to trust. We still think the “success” of the congregation falls on us.
The Pastor’s Responsibility
In small churches, many pastors feel like they are carrying the weight of the entire congregation. If we don’t do X, Y, and Z, then it won’t get done.
Oh sure, there are a handful of faithful volunteers who are happy to help – and we are grateful for them. But, as the pastor, we know we carry the lion’s share.
We feel this pressure from ourselves and the people in the congregation. It’s up to us to get more people to join the church. It’s up to us to get people to give more money. It’s up to us to keep the life of the congregation going.
Let’s say something doesn’t turn out well (a bad sermon, a bad meeting, a ministry that didn’t get the results we wanted). It looks like a failure, which can be hard not to take personally. It can be hard to give ourselves permission to fail.
I’m not talking about doing something intentional that you know will harm the people in the congregation (like a scandal due to inappropriate behavior). I’m talking about where you try to do your best and it just bombs.
Perhaps the ultimate example of this is when a congregation closes. The pastor has done their best to serve with the people, but other factors were in play and the life of the congregation can’t continue. It is very hard for a pastor not to take this personally or feel responsible for it.
Plus, this isn’t just the church closing. The pastor is now out of a job and needs to find another way to pay their own bills. Even if this in’t something you’ve expereinced, this can still be a big fear.
How do we take the message of the resurrection seriously when the things we put our time, effort, and energy into don’t pan out?
“Sin Boldly”
Perhaps this is where a line from Martin Luther comes in handy.
One of Luther’s famous lines is, “Sin boldly.”
This does not mean “Go out and do whatever you want because you know God will forgive you.” In order to see what it really means, we need to remember the rest of the line. “Sin boldly…and believe and trust in Christ even more boldly.”
So it’s more like this: “Even if you don’t know how it’s going to turn out, do the thing anyway. Give it your best shot. Live boldly and trust in the mercy of Christ.”
Even if we fail at something, even if we try it and it doesn’t work out, even if the congregation closes, we can still take comfort in the promise that Jesus forgives us when we mess up and God still brings resurrection life – even to us and the congregation we serve.
We might not know what that life will look like, but God will still bring it. In these hard times, we must trust that our God remains the God of resurrection life.
(More coming soon in Failure, Part 3: When Congregation Members Fail.)
(Photo by Loren Kerns | Flickr)
